The shower seems to be the only place lately where I have time to just let my thoughts roam. Today, however, my thoughts took a turn toward frustration. Bothered is perhaps a better word. Not sure—bothered and frustrated, maybe. At God. Is that ok? Not that my belief or faith are fading, but more so that I just don’t understand.
I’m sure most people have heard the Biblical arguments against abortion. Here are a few:
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (Jer 1:15)
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Ps 139:13-14)
“Did not he who made me in the womb make them? Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?” (Job 31:15)
Well, to take these verses and step away from the topic of abortion leads to my frustration from lack of understanding.
If the Lord created each of us—a unique being with a soul that defines who we are, and He knows the end from the beginning (“Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure…” [Is 46:9-10])—then why allow those children to be born who will never be His, who will never accept Him, who will choose an eternity of hell fire over an eternity with our loving Creator: the very one who gave them life to begin with? I’m not talking murder of children (or even the unborn) here; I’m wondering why God even creates those who will never turn away from this wicked world? People who eventually only lead to the destruction of themselves and those around them, never opening their hearts to hear God calling them. It seems it would save all of us a lot of pain, heartache, temptation, and so on, if all those who were created, were those that God already knew would return to Him. For that matter, why even allow us to be born of sin at all? Why not just create us perfect beings, perfect souls already prepared for eternity in Heaven?
Instead, we’re here—suffering through this dreadful world, clinging to our faith in Him to get us through each day. We’re stuck battling: battling with our own flesh, that of others, plus Satan and his devices. We’re born into families with bonds that will eventually be broken, and painfully broken, because some will choose life through Christ Jesus and some will not. “The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law” (Luke 12:53). We develop relationships with and love others who walk in the way of the Lord, only to later watch them turn from what they know in such a way that it hurts everyone around them. How do you save someone from themselves? We can’t. Only Jesus can. But then, how many can we pray for? Our families, our friends, our enemies, random people and situations, ourselves—the list goes on and on. To really pray for all the people who cross my path or enter my mind, I would have to quit my job.
So what’s the point? Why the suffering, the pain, the time dwelling on this earth when it’s not anything we really belong to? Our own pain from life is bad. To feel the pain of others and not be able to do anything about it hurts. But even more, the pain of watching someone turn away from God or just refuse Him altogether is excruciating. What’s the point to all of this? To have God’s promises a little at a time, all the while fighting with everything you have inside to hold onto them; hoping, praying that one day it will all be over and we’ll be made perfect to live eternity with our Savior; absorbing the sadness of those around us because they’ve chosen a different path; losing the people we’ve grown to love because they don’t (refuse, more often than not) to understand. They don’t understand, so we’re just a little nutty. That’s ok. But, what’s the point?
Why not get rid of the entire process of elimination and just create those perfect souls to live in Heaven? Because honestly, I’m tired of it. It’s hard—the reality (yes, reality check!) of living a life for Jesus. It’s hard! There is no “Oh, I accepted Jesus so now I live this happy-ever-after Christian life.” It’s a struggle, it’s sacrifice, it’s painful, and it’s frustrating. The worst part (or best depending on your perspective) is that once you’ve tasted the Spirit, you can’t just turn away from Him. So, the battle is even harder—fighting with oneself, fighting for others, fighting to stay strong and not give in to the cares of the world, fighting for God’s promises: to attain them and then to hold onto them, fighting for the one promise that makes it all worth it…
“And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved” (Matt 10:22).
“Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him” (James1:12).
“But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life” (Mark 10:30).
