Self-Deception

With all the talk/worry about being deceived by what/who is around us (often for good reason), it’s most important to examine our own selves and ensure we are not first walking in self-deception. The Bible speaks, on more than one occasion, about deceiving our own selves/our own hearts. “Follow your heart” doesn’t work if your heart is deceived. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jer 17:9)

Since it’s mentioned in the scriptures, it seems we should take heed to those things that lead to self-deception.

WORLDLY WISDOM
Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness. And again, The Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain. (1 Cor 3:18-20)

PRIDE
For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. (Gal 6:3) 

BEING HEARERS ONLY OF THE WORD
But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. (Jam 1:22) 

HAVING AN UNBRIDLED TONGUE
If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain. (Jam 1:26) 

THINKING WE HAVE NO NEED OF REPENTANCE
If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. (1 John 1:8)

So to all who seek to walk honestly and humbly in the perfect law of liberty: “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves...” (2 Cor 13:5)

The Living Word

I’m sitting here thinking about God’s word and how important it is to be in it everyday—meditating on it, storing it in our hearts. Even when we can’t understand it, still allowing our hearts to be opened up to what the Lord has given us. When I look back to the different stages of life I’ve lived and the times I can remember God moving and the times I remember nothing, there is one thing that is distinct: God moved when I was in His word. Well before I ever made it to a local church or started hanging out with other Christians. At one point, I started reading “Breakfast with Jesus.” I didn’t really feel the need to go to church or to change anything about my life though. I was intrigued, I think, because it was written by a pastor in SoCal and that was where I was from (at the time, I was living in NorCal). I think I made it ¾ of the way through before I decided to get online and find some sort of Bible study. I found a “read the Bible in a year” website and started there. Not long after I had started reading and studying the scriptures, miracles started happening. From the outside, it’s always easy to come up with worldly reasons why things happen, but I knew it was God. Money appeared out of nowhere in my wallet…seriously! When we had no formula for the baby and no money, WIC showed up in the mail. That just does not happen. With it was a note from one of the ladies that simply requested I call her to set up an appointment. God had to have moved on her to do that. Then, the desire to go to church came—such a desire that I was willing to end my 4-year relationship with my bf (at the time) over it. I made it to church once, with only my two children by my side. Of course, Satan didn’t want anything keeping me close to the Lord, so all hell broke loose in my life. I then spent four years bouncing all over and trying to figure out what to do with myself. Again I got back into God’s word. And again He started moving, but this time in a much bigger way. In such a way, that my entire life has been changed and it will never be the same. Looking back though, I can see how once I engaged in the Word of God, He came alive to me personally.

I’ve come to realize it’s because it is the living word of God. “And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth” (John 1:14 KJV). When we believe that Jesus is the Son of God who came to this nasty earth, suffered a horrendous death and poured out His blood on the cross for us, we allow God to move upon us. That’s just the beginning. So many think to just stop there and continue about their everyday lives. But the truth is we need to couple that belief with daily communion with the Lord through His word and prayer. Then the infilling of the Holy Spirit will be more than we could ever hope for. We will see God move in our lives, we will see prayers answered, and we will see miracles happen. Our eyes are opened to the truth of the world in which we live. Our ears are opened to hear the Almighty speak and lead us through every day, serving His purpose. Of course we’re not perfect and we mess up (sometimes over and over before we start to get it right). That’s all the more reason to be in God’s word—to feel His love pour out when we’re hurting, to gain strength when we feel like we just can’t get through another trying time, to know the voice of conviction when we need to repent, to be free from condemnation when Satan tries to rest that upon our shoulders. But, most of all, to know our Creator and Savior and to say without a doubt that He knows us and will not answer on the Day of Judgment “…I never knew you: depart from me…” (Matt 7:23 KJV).

He is so amazing and I just want to spend every moment of everyday in His presence. Unfortunately I’m not that disciplined, but I know that through Him all things are possible. That means I don’t have to look back with regret or sadness. I can look forward with hope and joy. Most importantly, I can share His love with whoever will open their hearts to receive it. “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.” (John 3:17 KJV)

What's The Point?

The shower seems to be the only place lately where I have time to just let my thoughts roam. Today, however, my thoughts took a turn toward frustration. Bothered is perhaps a better word. Not sure—bothered and frustrated, maybe. At God. Is that ok? Not that my belief or faith are fading, but more so that I just don’t understand.

I’m sure most people have heard the Biblical arguments against abortion. Here are a few:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (Jer 1:15)

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Ps 139:13-14)

“Did not he who made me in the womb make them? Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?” (Job 31:15)

Well, to take these verses and step away from the topic of abortion leads to my frustration from lack of understanding.

If the Lord created each of us—a unique being with a soul that defines who we are, and He knows the end from the beginning (“Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure…” [Is 46:9-10])—then why allow those children to be born who will never be His, who will never accept Him, who will choose an eternity of hell fire over an eternity with our loving Creator: the very one who gave them life to begin with? I’m not talking murder of children (or even the unborn) here; I’m wondering why God even creates those who will never turn away from this wicked world? People who eventually only lead to the destruction of themselves and those around them, never opening their hearts to hear God calling them. It seems it would save all of us a lot of pain, heartache, temptation, and so on, if all those who were created, were those that God already knew would return to Him. For that matter, why even allow us to be born of sin at all? Why not just create us perfect beings, perfect souls already prepared for eternity in Heaven?

Instead, we’re here—suffering through this dreadful world, clinging to our faith in Him to get us through each day. We’re stuck battling: battling with our own flesh, that of others, plus Satan and his devices. We’re born into families with bonds that will eventually be broken, and painfully broken, because some will choose life through Christ Jesus and some will not. “The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law” (Luke 12:53). We develop relationships with and love others who walk in the way of the Lord, only to later watch them turn from what they know in such a way that it hurts everyone around them. How do you save someone from themselves? We can’t. Only Jesus can. But then, how many can we pray for? Our families, our friends, our enemies, random people and situations, ourselves—the list goes on and on. To really pray for all the people who cross my path or enter my mind, I would have to quit my job.

So what’s the point? Why the suffering, the pain, the time dwelling on this earth when it’s not anything we really belong to? Our own pain from life is bad. To feel the pain of others and not be able to do anything about it hurts. But even more, the pain of watching someone turn away from God or just refuse Him altogether is excruciating. What’s the point to all of this? To have God’s promises a little at a time, all the while fighting with everything you have inside to hold onto them; hoping, praying that one day it will all be over and we’ll be made perfect to live eternity with our Savior; absorbing the sadness of those around us because they’ve chosen a different path; losing the people we’ve grown to love because they don’t (refuse, more often than not) to understand. They don’t understand, so we’re just a little nutty. That’s ok. But, what’s the point?

Why not get rid of the entire process of elimination and just create those perfect souls to live in Heaven? Because honestly, I’m tired of it. It’s hard—the reality (yes, reality check!) of living a life for Jesus. It’s hard! There is no “Oh, I accepted Jesus so now I live this happy-ever-after Christian life.” It’s a struggle, it’s sacrifice, it’s painful, and it’s frustrating. The worst part (or best depending on your perspective) is that once you’ve tasted the Spirit, you can’t just turn away from Him. So, the battle is even harder—fighting with oneself, fighting for others, fighting to stay strong and not give in to the cares of the world, fighting for God’s promises: to attain them and then to hold onto them, fighting for the one promise that makes it all worth it…

“And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved” (Matt 10:22).

“Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him” (James1:12).

“But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life” (Mark 10:30).

Monday, Pregnant

Monday—found out I’m pregnant. Wow! Shocker! Was not expecting that, but it must be the Lord’s plan for us. There is no doubt that if the Lord decided to bless us with a child that He will also provide a way for us to financially support that child, along with our other children. Rec’d a phone call that same night…work is slow due to mortgage industry and my hrs are cut by two a day. That is quite a chunk from monthly income! But…not an hr before that phone call came the Lord showed me that our faithfulness in Him will overcome any financial (or any other) burden and that His unfailing love is on those who trust in Him and His plans will endure. (Psalm 32:10; 33:11, 18-19, 20-22) Praise the Lord for His love and mercy on those who trust in Him.